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Talk:SorryNotSorry/@comment-1936167-20160722203216
I know I don't make a lot of personal posts on here, but I have a story that happened to me this week and I really wanted to share it. It's a bit long, so bear with me. Okay, so as some of you guys may or may not know, I'm taking summer school, because I wanted to do some fast-tracking this year. This month, we had to do group presentations for my Social Services class and my group's topic was LGBT youth (which we all voted on). Basically, the objective of the assignment was to individually select and interview a real-life agency targeted for LGBT communities and discuss the roles and learning opportunities for students in that social setting. The presentation had to be an hour long, which is the longest presentation I've ever had to make. Of course, I was in a group of four, so we divided our speaking time into 15 minutes each, BUT STILL. I've never spoken to an audience longer than maybe 10 minutes at most. Even though many of you probably already know this, I should point out that there is nothing that gives me more anxiety than public speaking. It's honestly my biggest fear. I always do fine, but of course, I still hate it. Along with talking about the agency I had selected to interview, I basically was in charge of introducing what each letter in the LGBTTI2QQAA acronym stands for and what the colours of the pride flag signify. The rest of my group covered stuff like history, legislation, advocacy, current issues, etc. Trust me, the work was divided equally. Anyways, this is the good part of my story, so I hope you're still reading. My prof is one of those people that are VERY engaging and love to ask the group questions at the end on what they learned from their experience and such. Knowing this, I took advantage of the opportunity to give my presentation a personal touch and share why LGBT is an area I'm passionate about... So, I decided to come out to my entire class. I didn't tell my group pre-presentation that I was going to do this. I didn't make any notes to read off of either. I wanted to share this part of myself unrehearsed, unscripted, and authentically. When the main portion of our presentation was over, my prof asked us, as I expected (in front of the class), what we liked or didn't like from doing this project. When it came to my turn, I said, "Not only do I find this topic interesting, but it's also something that has been very important to me throughout most of my life... since I identify with this community... in more ways than just an ally. I don't identify with it to label my sexuality, I identify with it to just be who I am." I swear, my heart raced when I said that, but I also felt so liberated and happy. My class applauded me on the spot. Just for the record, I didn't even come out as pansexual. I just said I identify as LGBT. I wanted to leave the rest open ended. My teacher then asked me (still in front of the class) what I learned from my experience and I said, "Even though I've known for half of my lifetime now that I'm not straight, I'm always continuing to learn more about myself, even as an adult. I take a lot of pride in how far I've come since I was a teenager. I used to get called derogatory names in high school for my race, so I didn't want to give people anymore reason target me. That's why I used to hide this part of me all the time. Pushing my boundaries and coming out to room full of people is a brand new experience and feeling for me. Standing here, in front of everyone, I've learned that my fears will never stop me." We ended after that. That was pretty much everything I said to the class. My classmates were so nice and supportive of me, though. I really felt so blessed to be in a room with such genuine and trusting people. Most of the people in my class are older than me. I'm actually one of the youngest students. I have made quite a few friends in my course now, but regardless, I never mentioned being LGBT to any of them before. Not that I don't trust them, but it just never came up in conversation. Several of them approached me later and hugged me, told me how proud they were of me, and said that what I did was very brave and courageous. Most of my class knows about my anxiety and fear of public speaking, because I've either told them or I've made it really obvious of how nervous I get during presentations. They could feel what a big moment it was for me, too. I made two of my female classmates/friends cry with my story, which REALLY touched me. Knowing that I was able to emotionally touch their hearts like that was just such a nice feeling. In the end, I ultimately realised that I didn't do this to impress anyone but me. I wanted to gain a sense of self-validation by knowing that I could break out of my comfort zone and do something more defiant than I've ever done before. I mean, I'm not ashamed of being LGBT, obviously, but at the same time, I've never made such a big personal revelation about myself to a group of 25+ people. I really wanted to feel empowered on my own accord and I've never been more proud of myself for doing so.